| Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle.
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When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous.
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I'll kill you until you die
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They misunderestimated me.
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Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it.
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A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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I like to walk in folg.because nobody call me charsi....
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There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
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Women marry men hoping they will change Men marry women hoping they will not So each is inevitably disappointed.
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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
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If you can not convince them confuse them.
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A bachelor is a selfish undeserving guy who haz cheated some woman out of a divorce..
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Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river...
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Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...
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Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal.
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Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
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If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
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It is better to b beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.
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Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.
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I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.
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Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
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Women ll never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
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In America any boy may become President and I suppose its just one of the risks he takes.
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Money cant buy happiness bt it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
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Sex is nature, and I believe in going along with nature.
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A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
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A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
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A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get wat neither of them wanted |
