| help ! police some one has nicked my status after hours looking on status shuffle robbing bastard
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"The great thing about Facebook is you can say whatever you want and quote it by some one completely random" -George Washington
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wants to know if I bring the inflatable swimming pool into the garage, does that qualify as an INDOOR POOL?
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This is one of the only statuses on face book status shuffle not involving tripping, ninjas, or gummy bears. =D
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We bring the stars out we bring the snails and the spiders from the grass out ! We'll do this because Julian from I'm a celeb need to get their ass out !
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single, but now with experience!
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is thinking that being fat isn't all bad. for one thing its harder to kid nap a fat person :P
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You are the fruit to my loop. Without you I'm just a cheerio :)
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Blonde walks into store and tells cashier they needs curtains for their computer. Cashier asks Blonde why, blonde says.."Duuuh, cuz it has windows!!"
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Two guys walk into a bar. You would think they would have seen it.
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Count to 10 , once you,ve done that ask yourself why?? are you listening to a computer :)
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next time you are at the ATM machine, wait for someone to be somewhere next to you. When the money comes out, start yelling: "YES! I won! I won!"
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I have A Hot Date with my Bed, Quilt and Pillow ... So Hasta La Vista ... Mother Fuckers! xx
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I was walking home last night when some chav jumped out and drew a knife on me. The little fucker used permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash off.
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I gave my computer some ice cream and now it won't work ... I guess it got a brain freeze.
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I'm gonna miss the great 2O1O moments I've had :/ BUT BRING ON 2O11
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* Phone Rings &+ Its a random number * " hello ?" " hey! who is this " "wtf You rang me so why you asking !"
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why did Tommy fall off their bike ??
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Right THAT'S IT, I'm taking my housework to court for harassment & placing a restraining order against it so it can't come within 200mtrs of me or my home!!!
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When the shit hits the fan make sure you're not in front of it.
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Just bought myself a racehorse. Called it Myface...can't wait to hear the old ladies screaming "Come on Myface, come on Myface".
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What r the 2 most important holes on a woman's body? no its not them u filthy bastard its their nostrils which allow their 2 breathe whilst giving u head !
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's havin dinna with the family of pink monkeys tht always eat blue bananas wile havin sex with the yelo pigins tht give birth 2 purple penguins
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i know 4 facts about you. 1.you cant lick your elbow 2. u just tried it 3. most of you just realised that you can't 4.now your smiling. because your an idiot :)
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*coke bottle on floor* *looks at coke bottle*~thinks~ damn its on the floor~reaches out the arm~ LET THE FORCE BE WIT U!!~waits and stares~FUCK IT NOT WORKING!!
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Go to Go ogle Maps,click Get Directions Enter USA as the start & Japan as your end. Go to the 31st & 46 point When you stop laughing, re-post!
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Q:If a blond and a Bernette where falling off a building who would fall first? A:The Bernette would because the blond would have to stop and ask for directions
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Drunk Driver:I don't know, your eyes look glazed . Have you been eating doughnuts?
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girl with little boobs said to girl with big boobs: thanks for carrying the rest of my boobs for me and saving me a lot of back pain!
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